Silent Nights
by SolKat22
Summary: Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. Your matesprit is 2ollux Captor. You make the most terrible decision you could ever make. Can 2ollux ever forgive you? (Mituna's typing quirk is a little hard to read...so to make it easier, I shall write what he says which is 'readable' in brackets for all of you)
1. Chapter 1

**This is about Sollux and Karkat. With the mention of Gamzee Makara and a little scene with Mituna Captor. Yes, the Beforus Trolls and the Ancestors are all alive in Alternia in this story. Hope you enjoy this.**

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"LOOK, SOLLUX. WE'RE INCAPABLE." Your name is Karkat Vantas. You just turned around to your matesprit, Sollux Captor. Everything was fine, purfect even. You were both in the same room, the bedroom to be precise. Sollux, is sitting at the computer desk on his computer as usual. Your on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Your earbuds in listening to the remix your matesprit made you. And you come out with that. You regret it immediately. But is has been said. You don't feel right in this quadrent with him. You have to speak your feelings. Even though you hope he hasn't heard you, you don't want to live like this anymore. Living like this with Sollux. It feels like you are holding him back from being with someone he would really want to be with. You have both been in a matespritship together for 2 sweeps.

"Incapable?" What'th wrong, KK?" Sollux looks at you nervously. Scared of what you meant by saying this. Turning around on his yellow and black bumblebee spinning chair his attention completely on you. His hair is a little messy from last nights shenanigans. He's not wearing his glasses you notice, seeing them on the desk next to the laptop. His attention is now completely on you.

"OH...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...JUST FORGET I SAID ANYTHING. SOL PLEASE." You know he won't, but is it worth a try, he is of course one of a kind and you don't want anyone else to have him. And of course, you still have flushed feelings for him. But you feel like your holding him back and that he's stuck in this quadrent.

Averting your gaze from him you look at your phone - one of the things your matesprit managed to create for you. Pretending to go through the songs, you keep your attention on the mustard-coloured-blooded troll staring at you.

"Karkat! Tell me exactly what you mean, riight now. Gog damn iit!" He snaps. Standing he walks over to you and stands in front of you, his arms tightly crossed over his naked chest. His blue and red coloured eyes crossing over your face. Knowing your not going to answer him, he grabs the phone from your hands and throws it across the room onto the floor.

"HEY! FUCK ASS!" You shout out of instinct, immediately apologizing for your outburst. You sit up and look at him sadly. Your own red eyes find his. You just stare into them. Falling into the deep depths of the odd coloured eyes. Thats the first thing you noticed about him. His eyes. Which are deep in wonder, torment. You smile at the memory of seeing the Psionic the first time. Falling in pity with him the moment your eyes found his. The memory evaporates from your mind as you come back to reality and feel Sollux's hands in your hair, his Psionic's sparking from his fingers incase he needs to use them. You see the sparks in his eyes and feel them from his fingers.

"Well? What'2 wrong? Why the fuck did you thay that?!" He demanded in a soft voice. Staring into your blood-coloured eyes. His hands exploring your hair. A yellow blush softly appears against in his grey skin.

"I-I'M SORRY SOLLUX..." You murmur and stutter. Terrified your actually going to do this. Your going to end this matespritship with the troll that has ever meant something to you - except for Gamzee.

"KK, what'2 wrong?" He sits down next to you, his arms now around your waist and pulling you onto his lap. You stare into eyes. Tears coming to yours. Unable to end it. You know you have to. To let him have some hope of actually living. But you have Sollux Captor as a matesprit. The best you could ever have. 'IT'LL BE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ANOTHER TROLL LIKE HIM...ANOTHER TROLL?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME KARKAT!? STUPID FUCK ASS YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ENDED IT YET!" You scream to yourself. You really pity this troll. Yet you must do this to let him have a life again.

"I-I'M ENDING THIS...THIS MATESPRITSHIP, SOL..." You stutter and immediately tears are running down your cheeks. You look at the floor then back up at him. Yellow tears are entering his eyes. He doesn't know what to say or do and your scared. You pity him deeply. Sollux stares at you. You know your just a mutant-freak-blooded troll in his arms. You believe your not worthy of him. Forbidden tears escapes from his eyes. Blinking won't get them away, he knows this all to well. His world came to a stop at your words. He's hurting. But he wants to stay with you.

"Kar..." He breathes shakily. Holding you tight in his arms. You let him, breathing in his scent as your sitting on his lap. Wishing you could change everything you just said. "You can't mean thi2...can you?" He mutters. His own tears streaking. It looks like he's bleeding by how much he's crying.

You nod, unable to speak anymore. Pushing yourself against him, you want to stay there forever. Pitying this troll has given you a life, yet, you have to let him have his own life. You don't want him to leave, yet you know he will.

The doubled troll just stares down at you. Unable to believe his ears. He stays like this a couple of moments then releases you from his arms and pushes you back onto the bed and off of him. Pulling on his shirt he grabs the black and yellow suitcase from under the bed. He stuffs his clothes in quickly then his laptop. Your unable to do anything, all you do is look at the bed. Completely wishing you were dead for what you just done.

He zips up the suitcase and walks to the from door. Stopping just as his hand touches the door knob, he turns to look at you once more. Not believing you could do this to him. Seeing your not looking at him, he figures its from you not pitying him anymore. He turns the knob and walks out the hive you both share - aka once your hive - then slams the door shut.

The sound is empty. Hollow. Unwelcoming. The unwelcome tears run faster and you cry hard into your pillow. You keep this up for a couple of hours, unable to move. You want all of this to turn back. Knowing he will never come back to you now. Not now.

_"II thought you piityed me, Karkat. II gue22 II wa2 wrong. For the Gog II 2ure hope you look iintwo the fuckiing 2un. II hate you, you mutant-freak!" Sollux snaps at you. His Psionic's full power and are coming at you. You don't blame him for his anger, and his wish to make you blind. You deserved this. You hurt him deeply, and now you will pay the price and die._

A soft knock at the door makes you open your eyes. Fuck you were dreaming. Thank Gog. You see your now on the floor, this must have happened when his Psionic's hit you hard in the chest. You see you have Sollux's bumblebee pillow tight against your chest. Not wanting to see anyone right now, you think it's Gamzee Makara, he'll soon leave if you don't answer. But the knocking keeps up. After about four minutes a voice speaks up.

"K4R...1...1 KN0W Y0UR 1-1N TH3R3..." You recognize Sollux's Dancestors voice. But you try to ignore Mituna Captor. Not wanting to see him of all trolls right now. "F-F-F-1N3...GH26474BFUFBFB...1 2H4LL C0M3 1N 4NYW4Y..." Come's his hesitant voice again. Seconds later there's a large bang against the door. Mituna tried to run into it. But it didn't work. The door knob the turned, the door swung hard against the wall and banging against the photo of Kankri and Signless that's just behind the door hanging on the wall. "0PP2" Mituna states, piercing his lips together when it hits the photo.

He walks over to you, skateboard under his arm, helmet in his hand, bushy hair sticking out everywhere. You take one look at him then roll under the bed as not to let him see you like this. And also, most likely, he'll try to have a go at you for breaking up with Sollux and you really don't need this right now. You sigh and stay under there as Mit sits and grabs your ankle tugging it, trying to get you out. He manages to pull your leg out as you stay where you are, fighting him back hugging Sollux's pillow tightly.

"MIT...LEAVE ME ALONE." You state softly unable to pick up your voice. You feel so weak from the pain in your heart and the disgustingly horrible dream. But Mit insists trying on getting you out. In the end he sighs dramatically and stops. You retract your leg back under the bed and your knee is pushed back against the pillow. You lift the pillow against your face and inhale your ex-matesprit's scent. You forget about Mituna and is now in your own world. You blink and he's under the bed with you, his arms around you hugging you close.

"WHY K4R? W-WHY D0-D1D 7H12...?" He whines softly to you. But you don't answer. "C0M3 0U7!" He snaps angrily. You shake your head solemnly And he pinches you hard making you yelp and slapping him on the cheek. He starts to cry and you just realize his helmet is off and you just slapped him on one of his scars. He pushes away from you angrily and gets out from under the bed and grabbing his helmet he shoves it on. Grabbing his skateboard he runs out the open door.

"MIT! MITUNA!" You shout after him, emerging from under the bed just in time to see him run out the door. He trips over his feet and falls into the wall opposite your door. Pushing himself up he runs down the hall ignoring you. Tears spring to your eyes from hurting him. From being stupid and so selfish and not talking to him.

But you decide not to go after him. He won't listen now, but you felt truly bad for slapping him. Instead you close the door, get into the bed, laying on Sollux's side. Snuggled into his pillow inhaling his scent against the pillow. You inhale deeply, more tears spring to your eyes. You hate yourself for saying you wanted to end your matespritship. He was amazing to you, yet you had to let him have a life. At 6 sweeps old, almost 7 you let him have the life he needed. And now he will never come back to you. You snuggle into the duvet and hold the pillow tightly. You close your eyes and fall into a horrible sleep.

You stay like this for days, in bed hugging Sollux's pillow, on Sollux's side of the bed. Unmoving, thinking about him and if you made the right decision to let him go.

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**I hope you guys like this story. It made me have too many feels and cry as I was writing this. I am working on the second chapter now. Sorry if I have bad grammar. But I enjoyed writing this chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

You decided to do something outside the house. In the fresh air, with the sound of the birds and the wind whistling through the trees...**OKAY WHAT THE ****FUCK?! THIS IS NOT YOU! YOU CARE NOTHING FOR THE NATURE AROUND YOU. ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS SOLLUX CAPTOR...**Oh shit...what if you run into Sollux? The thought creeps into your mind that he would be with someone else, someone better...showing off the 'highblood?' he is now with, instead of the pathetic lowblood like you. You sigh inwardly and ignore the pang of pain in your heart. You had to move on, just knew you had to move on. And leave Sollux behind.

But what if he wanted to take you back? _You would take him back idiot._

And if he didn't? _Why, you would motherfucking beg him to take you back._

After all, it had been a week since you ended it and he had walked out. You had done nothing except lay there, ignoring all the knocks at the door, the horrible thoughts. You ignored it all, lost in the scent of Sollux's pillow and what you both had had. Sitting up, you knew you looked terrible. But you seriously couldn't give a fuck then and there. All that was on your mind was to prove to yourself and to others that you could live without Sollux by your side.

A soft whimper escapes your lips as you change your clothes and drag on some shoes. You couldn't be bothered to do this, and your heart was still in pain from the thought about him not taking you back. Throwing his pillow onto the bed you walked out of your hive, slamming the door shut behind you.

On your way out, you passed Mituna. He looked at you and snarled softly. Obviously not forgiving you for slapping him...well even if he did pinch you first, he didn't know any better. You averted your gaze and started down at the ground. Seconds later he was at your side, his arm around your waist like he used to, just to make Sollux jealous. You looked up at him and he kisses your cheek. You smiled inwardly. Maybe he had forgiven you after all...

"HEY, CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE SOLLUX IS?" You asked him, out of no where. You didn't want to see him - but then again you did, desperately.

He smiled at you. "47...47RHF7392YU4HGR8R9EGH H12...H12 H1111V3..." He slurs over his words. You liked him. A lot. If Gamzee wasn't your morail, Mituna Captor would be your morail. You were so sure of this. You hugged him tightly.

"THANKS, MIT." Kissing his cheek you turn and leave, heading towards the hive that Sollux Captor lived in.

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You knocked at the door of number '22'. Leaving Mituna far behind with Latula to entertain him. The door rocketed open. Obviously by Psionics. You peered in the dark gloomy hive. The only light is of which is coming from his laptop.

"What the fuck do you want?!" He snaps at you, not even looking up from his laptop.

"SOLLUX...I..." You start, unsure of how to end or even start for that matter.

"II don't have all day. Unliike a loser liike you. So hurry up, then leave." You stare at his gloomy-lit face shocked.

**YES HE JUST SAID THAT. YOU FEEL SO HURT, YET YOU CANNOT BLAME HIM...AFTER ALL, YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF. AND YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING THING _ANYTHING _TO CHANGE IT.**

****After a couple of moments you walk up to him and sit down. Looking about the shadowed room you sigh softly, you loved being in here the first time. As you continue to look around, you feel his eyes on you. His psionics starting to rev up again, you see from the corner of your eye.

_"SOLLUX...LISTEN, I PITY YOU OKAY? BUT I JUST THOUGHT THAT...I WAS HOLDING YOU BACK...I NEVER WANTED YOU TO HATE ME, I WANTED YOU TO LIVE. I PITY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU. PLEASE FORGIVE ME."_

_"Of cour2e II forgiive you. II piity you two..." He whispers back. You kiss him softly. Moaning into your mouth he nips your lip gently, wrapping his arms around your neck and pushing you backwards onto the floor and he lays on top of you. You whimper at his forwardness, you love him. You know you do. Wrapping your legs around his waist you deepen the kiss - yes, with tongue._

_Then you blink._

It was all a dream. You look around and see he is waiting for you to explain yourself. But you just can't. He may reject you. That will bloody well hurt and you know it. But its the least you deserve. After all, you did break his heart.

"NOTHING...I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU WERE OKAY, THATS ALL..."

He snorts. "II am fiine. Now get out." He turns back to his laptop. You look at him, tears in your eyes. Standing you long to touch him, hug him, kiss him. But you turn and leave shutting the door quietly behind you.


End file.
